Thanksgiving (2023)
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sonypictures.com
First of all, I hate the title, I understand it’s in the tradition of Halloween, the horror film named after the holiday. Thanksgiving, does not have a ‘horror’ association, so I would have liked the title to be renamed to Thankskilling, or Bloody Thanksgiving in some markets.
Like the previous Machete and Hobo with a Shotgun, Thanksgiving was originally a badly made trailer for Grindhouse in 2007. That old joke of, “they made a movie out of the trailer” is absolutely true to these films… a 16 year old film in the making.
First of all, I feel the trailer is probably the best bits, expanding it to two hours was not a good idea.
The first part of the movie (the setup) is about a bloody Black Friday. A year later, the same department store is holding their annual Black Friday sale … and it sets in motion a series of murders from a mysterious killer wearing a John Carver mask and pilgrim costume. The mask thing brings up numerous slasher comparisons, like Halloween, Scream, and Friday the 13th.
I do not think it is a very good film, but despite my negative reaction, the general public seemed to love the horror film, grossing over $45.8 million on their $15 million budget. The money is so good that Sony Pictures have greenlit a sequel for a 2025 release…. So expect to see John Carver resurrected for Thanksgiving 2025.
Silent Night (2023)
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lionsgate.com
Not to be confused with the 2021 British apocalyptic black comedy film or the Silent Night Deadly Night series about a murderous killer Santa… this 2023 Silent Night is an action thriller, with a Christmas background.
This film was directed by legendary director John Woo, who I am a big fan of his “heroic bloodshed” Hong Kong films like A Better Tomorrow (1986), The Killer (1989), and Hard Boiled (1992). Unfortunately, when Hollywood came calling and had him direct his American films, I wasn’t as thrilled… maybe something is lost in the translation. His last American film Paycheck was 20 years ago… so seeing him back with Silent Night was exciting.
Again, this was a miss for me. I think the concept is pretty cool, a whole movie without any dialogue. I think it might work better as a one-off television episode (like Buffy’s “Hush” episode), or one-off comic book in a series (like GI Joe’s “Silent Interlude”)… but in a two hour movie, it just felt long in the tooth. Okay, I get it, there’s no talking. You really, really have to pay attention to the screen with your eyeballs, so all the storytelling is showing you things and events and you just have to figure out what is going on. You really have to work to enjoy this film.
So, I didn’t like the film, but I think it’s a cool concept… but maybe in a short form, not a full-length feature. I suppose if you are hearing impaired, this is an amazing film.
There's Something in the Barn (2023)
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stage6films.com
There's Something in the Barn is a new Norwegian comedy/horror film about murderous gnomes, trolls or elves. You know those cute garden gnomes ? Imagine if those things are real and out to kill people…
The film starts off with a comedy punch, about an American family face to face with a killer Moose.
You find out that they inherited a house in Norway, so the whole family moved to the country, around the Christmas time. The family is ignorant of the history of the country.
Anyway, they want to turn the old barn into a hotel, but apparently there are evil elves that lives there. It’s a good setup for film, a little bit too silly at times.
Besides from being too silly, I also found the elves to be small and “cute” to take very seriously. At one point, the elves started throwing a party when they discovered bottles of alcohol.
No one in the film is taking the movie very seriously, so that is also the mentality you should go into seeing this film.
Nightmare on 34th Street (2023)
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twitter.com/darkdreamline
This low-budget British anthology film Nightmare on 34th Street, obviously played off of Miracle on 34th Street.
You really have to appreciate low-budget films, you know with bad special effects, amateur acting, and poor audio. You can get past all that, you might like little anthology of stories: The first is about a killer Santa Claus gang and their torture and murder spree through the holiday. I’m not quite sure how this murder spree is able to go one for five years. Are the British police really bad at their job?
Then there is a killer, who has a snowman puppet. It doesn’t make any sense; he just goes around murdering people with an ice pick… followed by a brief story about Krampus and the mother who kills her children… followed by the one about a serial killer priest who buries his victims alive.
All the stories are tied together to reveal the secret origin of a Killer Santa in the making.
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