As you can tell, we still don't have a metal reviewer. Anyway, for the metal fans in your family....
GOBLIN COCKmyspace.com/goblincock First of all, I love the name and theme. All the band members have RPG elements to their name, like singer Lord Phallus (Rob Crow) and guitarist Larben the Druid. You can tell that this San Diego doom metal band are fans of comics (due to their self-titled
Bagged and Boarded) and the Terminator movie (that's a famous line, "come with me if you want to live"). From the cover artwork, to ancient runes, it's safe to assume these guys are also into Warhammer and D&D stuff, pretty geeky - and proud of it!
I don't have their debut album, but based on listening to
Come With Me If You Want To Live, I can see why they were nominated for the PLUG metal album award (they lost out to Fantômas).
Come was designed as a whole album, from the instrumental introduction music "Hissless" through all these film/movie references. You can hear movie samples in some of their songs, like "Trying to get Along with Humans" and "Ode to Billy Jack" (which is really about those
70s movies).
Some of the songs on this album sounds too clear and sounds too slow to be classify as metal. On those songs, they seem more like early 90s grunge music (think Soundgarden, not Nirvana).
Not really sure where Goblin Cock will exists in Rob Crow's ever-growing band involvement. He's still in Pinback, Heavy Vegetable, Physics, Optiganally Yours and Thingy. Plus earlier this year, his other band, Aspects of Physics, just released their third (in a trilogy of album) called
Marginalized Information Forms 3: Other.
Come With Me If You Want To Live is available now from
Absolute Kosher Records. Recommended if you don't take your metal too seriously, and enjoy the adolescent geekiness of the band.
Trivia: "Beneath the Valley of the Island of Misfit Toys", another instrumental, seems to be derived from
Beneath the Planet of the Apes,
Valley of the Dolls, and
Rudoph the Red Nosed Reindeer (he ends up on Island of Misfit Toys).
METAL RETARDATIONmetalretardation.com When I first read Bill Zebub's name, I chuckled a little at his nod to the lord of the flies (Satan). So the guy has a sense of humor, and you can hear a lot of that humor in his interviews for his magazine,
The Grimoire of Exalted Deeds, on this DVD collection.
Unfortunately, sometime his questions goes on too long (note: the bands are the star, not the interviewer), and sometime the questions have nothing to do with anything. I'll give you an example, during the George "Corpsegrinder" Fisher from Cannibal Corpse, Zebub had a long question about Almond Joy and Mounds. I won't give away the punchline, but when it was delivered, neither myself or Fisher cared much for it. The same feeling of "I don't get it" or "I don't care" came up again when Mathias Nygård, from Turisas, had to endure the shark jokes.
I'll have to admit, there are some some gems like the Cannibal Corpses and Nevermore interview, however the footage is unwatchable due to poor lighting. The filming is very gorilla-style, often with just Zebub and his camera. Some footage looks like it was taken from old VHS tapes, while some of the more recent footage looked incredible. The uneven quality, the lack of transition (these are quick clips going back and forth), uneven audio levels... these things made the program really hard to enjoy.
It doesn't feel like there's a purpose or direction - just random questions and answers. Personally, I feel this whole disc should be a "bonus" disc of some other feature. I can't recommend this unless you're a fan of
The Grimoire of Exalted Deeds or the bands on the disc (Finntroll, King Diamond, Type O Negative, Gwar, etc).
Extras includes Band Introductions & Skits, Darkthrone Phone Interview and Venom Phone Interview. The phone interview also includes topless women. The "area" are censored, so it's not entirely pornographic.
PAGAN METAL: A DOCUMENTARYbillzebub.com ♥ thegrimoire.com Like
Metal Retardation, the
Pagan Metal DVD begins with a disclaimer that if you don't appreciate this film, then you are "too gay". What are you twelve? I feel like I have to defend myself and any reviewers out that that doesn't like this documentary - I do own and watch a lot of
movies and documentaries.
What makes a good documentary for me is to keep me interested in the subject. Like for instance, if the band is talking about, say Norse gods, the editor should insert an image referencing said god. I will say that to keep us entertained, between sessions of interviews, you're shown some live footage of various Pagan Metal bands. My favorite is Turisas, only because of that crazy looking violin player.
Usually really good documentaries tries to do answer three questions: 1. Where did (subject) came from and its origin? 2. What exactly is it and why do people like it? and 3. Where does it go from here? Unfortunately, this documentary doesn't really address any of these questions. I'll grant you that Zebub did try and ask the Pagan past, but the interviewees, such as Korpiklaani, were unprepared to answer.
The one shining light out of this is Primordial's Alan Averill (note: the DVD does not credit the interviewee, I am guessing it is the singer). Everything he had to say was intelligent and smart, and even if it had nothing to do with Folk or Pagan Metal, it sure made a whole lot of sense to me. There's a section where he talked about in the "old" days when he was doing his fanzines, he would swap a lot of tapes. Compared that to today's file-traders, he feels like it's too easy and unfulfilling. Maybe it's a generational thing, but for old fanzine editors like myself and
Sally, we still want to own the vinyl or CD if we like what we've heard on cassettes, or later minidiscs and cd-rs. What does this this have to do with Pagan Metal? Well, I think it's relevant because how else are people going to hear Pagan Metal - the radio stations aren't going to play it.
So, if you are wondering why Pagan Metal is have taken over the Black Metal scene in Europe and interested in hearing some of these bands (Korpiklaani, Finntroll, Leaves Eyes, Tyr), then I'd recommend this DVD to you. Although, I wouldn't call it a documentary, this is more like a series of interviews with these bands. Between
Metal Retardation and
Pagan Metal, I would, without a doubt, recommend Pagan, because it has a theme and a purpose.
The extras ? There are none, unless you count the Rated R trailer for Assmonster prior to the feature.
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