I emerged from my self-imposed musical exile in the back catalog of the Dr. Demento show in the early nineties and began casting around for what music would make me cool. It was a tough time to be uncool and searching for a musical style. Until the grunge thing finally crawled across the continent, all the rebellious youth had to cling to was the heavy metal scene.*
It was a little tough to get into. Some part of me couldn't synthesize the heavy metal stage aesthetic with the hypermacho posturing and the rampant homophobia. There was some piece of that puzzle that just didn't make sense. Thankfully for us all, Rob Halford of Judas Priest came out in 1997 and cleared up the whole mystery. Cock rock really was about cocks this whole time, and if we didn't like it, we could just shut the fuck up.
Fast forward ten years, and the gay metal scene had exploded all over the place. (Pun intended. Sorry.) With the ambiguity gone, and, I think, the happy side effect of taking homosexuality into the heartland of the homophobic, gay metal is pretty much everything awesome about metal in addition to being (maybe intentionally) very high-concept.
For the moment, we're going to gloss over Electric Six, who, in spite of having a song called "Gay Bar" are mostly a band about nothing at all, who do happen to act awfully queer, but it's not really my place to delve into pondering the sexual identity of Dick Valentine, and in any case, their rumored new album isn't out yet, so why should I?
Our first stop is in the frozen Scandinavian North for a visit with Turbonegro, who's new album Retox came out a couple of weeks ago. Like Electric Six, it's a little difficult to tell if Turbonegro's homosexual agenda is gimmick, or gimmick based in reality. Either way, this song is definitely about penises.
Next up is a rocker who first achieved fame by playing guitar naked on the front porch, just as Google Street View's camera car drove by. This week, however, Pink Steel's Udo Von DüYü has blessed us all with a new album and another hard rockin' song about cock.**
Well, that should give you something to think about this Bastille Day.*** Now, I leave you with some words of wisdom from M.C. Frontalot.
See you in the funny papers,
W
* Okay, okay. Unless they were incredible wusses and were into electronica or goth. I tried them, I really did. I just couldn't stand the damn music. Plus, I was too damned angry all the time.
** I don't want you to think that only gay men (or those pretending to be gay men) sing about their penises. You can also be an indie comic superstar and sing songs about your penis.
*** Before you ask, yes. I did post this almost entirely because of the sudden popularity of the Wizard Rock post. The thought of internet users arriving here looking for nice, family friendly songs about Harry Potter and finding songs about penises tickles me pink. Besides, that's what good rock and roll is for, right? Challenging our assumptions?
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